All seated on the ground Connie Willis
A frivolous seasonal parlour game, which is due to Patrick Nielsen Hayden. (Patrick claims it’s Gardner Dozois’s fault, but if we started listing the things in the field that are Gardner Dozois’s fault, we’d be here a very long time indeed.) The question: for what books (whether sff or otherwise), can the title and author be run together to make an unstrained, grammatically correct English sentence?
Some years ago, Patrick collated a list of books that fitted this bill, including many classics – The Sheep Look Up John Brunner, Two Sisters Gore Vidal, The Right Stuff Tom Wolfe. But time has passed, and I’m sure there are plenty more books that fit this criterion. Indeed, some authors seem to be making entire careers of it (Salt Adam Roberts, Stone Adam Roberts, On Adam Roberts, Splinter Adam Roberts, Land of the Headless Adam Roberts.) And with others, we learn that they’re almost impossible to buy clothes for (Red Mars Kim Stanley Robinson, Green Mars Kim Stanley Robinson, Blue Mars Kim Stanley Robinson). So….what extras can you suggest in the comments?
A couple of notes. Firstly, you might want to check Patrick’s original list to be sure you’re not duplicating suggestions that have gone before. As suggested above, elegance is a virtue here. So Cats Cradle Kurt Vonnegut gets at most half-credit because you have to ignore the apostrophe in “Cat’s”. Entries get extra points if, as Patrick says, you change a word’s part of speech (Home Fires Gene Wolfe). It’s also especially appealing if they conjure up a startling visual image (Air Geoff Ryman, The Deepest Water Kate Wilhelm). And extra bonus points for any titles with a particularly seasonal feel.
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Planet of the Damned Harry Harrison
The Humanoid Touch Jack Williamson
Feed Mira Grant
Sixty-One Nails Mike Shevdon
The Unblemished Conrad Williams
The Nameless Ramsey Campbell
First and Only Dan Abnett
The Noise Within Ian Whates
Wicked Gregory Maguire
Wireless Charles Stross
The Love We Share Without Knowing Christopher Barzak
Tokyo Cancelled Rana Dasgupta
Take Back Plenty Colin Greenland
The Dreaming Void Peter F. Hamilton
The Sky That Wraps Jay Lake
The Light Ages Ian R. MacLeod
Sentence fragments:
——————-
When gravity fails george alec effinger… (he loses his pocket change)
The man who never missed steve perry. (huge journey fan)
Headline-ish:
————-
Alien influences kristine kathryn rusch
Giant bones peter s. beagle
Widowmaker unleashed mike resnick
Movie news:
———–
Violent stars phyllis gotlieb.
The seedling stars james blish.
Bad things happen:
——————
A man betrayed j. v. jones.
A signal shattered eric s. nylund.
A wizard scorned patricia lucas white.
Destiny kills keri arthur.
Paradise passed jerry oltion.
The barbed coil j. v. jones.
The gilded chain dave duncan.
The horribly haunted school margaret mahy.
The jagged orbit john brunner. (no matter how hard he tries to get rid of them)
The light ages ian r. macleod.
The man who folded himself david gerrold. (extreme origami)
The ringworld engineers larry niven. (thought it was the other way around)
Good things happen:
——————-
The ship avenged s. m. stirling.
From the dust returned ray bradbury.
The atrocity archives charles stross. (good to keep backups)
And some could be good or bad:
——————————
Atlantis unleashed alyssa day.
Jupiter magnified adam roberts.
Mage: the hero discovered matt wagner.
The first named jonathan wylie.
The demon awakens r. a. salvatore.
Mind Control:
————-
The dragon masters jack vance.
The stars compel michaela roessner.
Romance:
——–
The astonished eye tracy knight.
The brass bed jennifer stevenson.
Ella enchanted gail carson levine.
Little, Big John Crowley (seriously, how has no one else said this one yet?)
Bloodshot Cherie Priest
The Missing Sarah Langan
The Return of the Sorcerer Clark Ashton Smith
In the Forest of Forgetting Theodora Goss
Speak to the Devil Dave Duncan
Dead Beat Jim Butcher
The Seedling Stars James Blish
Spin Robert Charles Wilson
The Turing Test Chris Beckett
The Selfish Gene Richard Dawkins
The World Inside Robert Silverberg
Feed Mira Grant
Redemption in Indigo Karen Lord
Contact Carl Sagan
The Raw Shark Texts Steven Hall
The Love We Share Without Knowing Christopher Barzak
Forfeit Dick Francis.
It’s almost possible to get a narrative out of Francis:
Break in
Risk
Knock down
Come to grief,
Bonecrack
Bolt
Comeback
Keep the Giraffe Burning John Sladek
Other Days, Other Eyes Bob Shaw
Schismatrix Plus Bruce Sterling (cheating here)
Spin Robert Charles Wilson
Rainbows End Vernor Vinge
Starwater Strains Gene Wolfe
Innocents Aboard Gene Wolfe
Loves Labors Lost William Shakespeare. (To use the quarto title.)
Everything That Rises Must Converge Flannery O’Connor. (An exercise in decollimation.)
THE GREEN CLOUD CALLS LIN CARTER
MAMMOTH STEPHEN BAXTER
As instructions:
Quarantine Greg Egan
Spin Robert Charles Wilson
Or labels:
Barking Tom Holt
Little Fuzzy H. Beam Piper
Berserker Fred Saberhagen
The Master T. H. White
Or just enigmatic:
Man Plus Frederik Pohl
A Fire Upon the Deep Vernor Vinge
The World Inside Robert Silverberg
We See Things Differently, Bruce Sterling
The Unthinkable Bruce Sterling
Running Wild J.G. Ballard
Beyond Apollo Barry Malzberg
Gosh, well that’s a pretty good response. Thanks all. Short titles are especially amenable to this, I guess. (I can’t be the first person to suggest The Firm John Grisham?) Russell, I think Charles N Brown of this parish would have especially appreciated the Dick Francis suggestions. My personal favorites so far:
The Love We Share Without Knowing Christopher Barzak (David H, Liz)
In the Forest of Forgetting Theodora Goss (Rose Fox)
Keep the Giraffe Burning John Sladek (F.)
The Man Who Folded Himself David Gerrold (John Leavitt)
The Light Ages Ian R Macleod (SF Strangelove, John Leavitt)
The Atrocity Archives Charles Stross (John Leavitt)
Running Wild J G Ballard (F)
And the winner so far…
The Raw Shark Texts Stephen Hall (Liz)
Some writers offer lots of possibilities:
The Rain Will Stop Brian Aldiss
The Primal Urge Brian Aldiss
Report On Probability A, Brian Aldiss
Frankenstein Unbound Brian Aldiss
and then–and then– (to echo The Coasters)
Dracula Unbound Brian Aldiss
Some headlines from the Bat-Boy Tabloid:
Strangers gardner Dozois
(if “Gardner” can be a verb)
The Demolished man Alfred Bester
The Forever machine Mark Clifton and David Riley
The Big Time-Fritz Leiber
Starship troopers Robert A. Heinlein
Stranger-in-a-Strange land Robert A. Heinlein
And Call Me “Conrad Roger Zelazny”
Flowers for “Algernon Daniel Keyes”
Stand on “Zanzibar John Brunner”
Where Late the Sweet Birds sang “Kate Wilhelm”
Helliconia spring Brian W. Aldiss
Enders game Orson Scott Card
Falling free Lois McMaster Bujold
The Vor game Lois McMaster Bujold
The Terminal experiment Robert J. Sawyer
The Time ships Stephen Baxter
Darwins radio Greg Bear
Brute orbits George Zebrowski
Vacuum diagrams Stephen Baxter
(Have these been done before? I’m new to this.)
Harry Potter and “The Goblet Of” fire J.K. Rowling
The Other wind Ursula K. Le Guin
The Quantum rose Catherine Asaro
Market forces Richard Morgan
Rainbows end Vernor Vinge
The Yiddish Police Men’s “Union Michael Chabon”
“The Graveyard” book Neil Gaiman
Tender morsels Margo Lanagan
(Ow, my brain hurts…)
Stalking the Nightmare Harlan Ellison
Spider Kiss Harlan Ellison
This Immortal Roger Zelazny
Flow My Tears, The Policeman Said Philip K. Dick
Now Wait For Last Year Philip K. Dick
Run for the Stars Harlan Ellison
The Haunted Computer and the Android Pope Ray Bradbury
Somewhere a Band is Playing Ray Bradbury
R is for Rocket Ray Bradbury
Speaker for the Dead Orson Scott Card
Bitten Kelley Armstrong
Sex and Violence in Zero-G Allen Steele
Forever After Roger Zelazny
Camouflage Joe Haldeman
Replay Ken Grimwood
You Suck Christopher Moore
All-American Alien Boy Allen Steele
Isle of the Dead Roger Zelazny
Homeward and Beyond Poul Anderson
Kushiel’s Chosen Jacqueline Carey
To the Land of the Living Robert Silverberg
Born With the Dead Robert Silverberg
Away and Beyond A. E. Van Vogt
Crazy Hair Neil Gaiman
Now We Are Sick Neil Gaiman
Who Killed Amanda Palmer Neil Gaiman
Match to Flame Ray Bradbury
Overclocked Cory Doctorow
Harm Brian Aldiss
The Loving Dead Amelia Beamer
By the Mountain Bound Elizabeth Bear
Seven for a Secret Elizabeth Bear
October Leaves Michael Swanwick
The Dog Said Bow-Wow Michael Swanwick
Carrion Comfort Dan Simmons
The Life, the Universe, and Everything Douglas Adams
Mostly Harmless Douglas Adams
The Darkness That Comes Before R. Scott Bakker
Chill Elizabeth Bear
Hammered Elizabeth Bear
The Night Shapes James Blish
Probe Margaret Wander Bonnano
A Pleasure to Burn Ray Bradbury
Tales Too Ticklish to Tell Berkeley Breathed
The Hallowed Hunt Lois McMaster Bujold
The Captain’s Daughter Peter David
Speak Daggers to Her Rosemary Edghill
Ellison Unfrocked Harlan Ellison
Night and the Enemy Harlan Ellison
The Dark Design Philip José Farmer
Death: The Time of Your Life Neil Gaiman
The Dolls House Neil Gaiman
Brief Lives Neil Gaiman
Before You Read This Neil Gaiman
Unrepentant Harlan Ellison
Snow, Glass, Apples, Neil Gaiman
Forever Free Joe Haldeman
Starbound Joe Haldeman
Definitely Dead Charlaine Harris
The Dispossessed Ursula K. Le Guin
The Gaslight Dogs Karin Lowachee
Earthbound Richard Matheson
The Ship Who Sang Anne McCaffrey
Bite Me Christopher Moore
Sixty Days and Counting Kim Stanley Robinson
The Shadow of the Torturer Gene Wolfe
If You Really Loved Me Ann Rule
You Belong to Me Ann Rule
The Living Blood Tananarive Due
Bugf*ck Harlan Ellison*
Man Plus Frederik Pohl
Those Who Watch Robert Silverberg
The Thirteenth Immortal Robert Silverberg
Those Who Lust Robert Silverberg**
Take My Wife Robert Silverberg**
Diary of a Dyke Robert Silverberg**
Sin Warped Robert Silverberg**
Only the Depraved Robert Silverberg**
Good Girl, Bad Girl, Robert Silverberg
Lust Lord Robert Silverberg**
*it’s in production
**and many, many more soft porn titles by Silverberg suit this game
(This game is irresistible)
The Kraken wakes John Wyndham
(He’s not happy about it either)
To Marry: Medusa, Theodore Sturgeon
The Cosmic rape Theodore Sturgeon
(The previous sentence is preferrable)
The Ticket that Exploded William S. Burroughs
The Fight-Club chuck Pahlaniuk
Atlas shrugged Ayn Rand
The Halloween tree Ray Bradbury
(Are they that bothersome?)
October the First is Too Late, Fred Hoyle
The Night land William, hope Hodgson
For Your Eyes, only Ian Fleming
The Living Day lights Ian Fleming
The Man, with The Golden, gun Ian Fleming
The Land That Time forgot Edgar Rice Burroughs
The Cosmic puppets Philip K. Dick
Flow-My tears the Policeman, said Philip K. Dick
(Mine is different, see…)
The Minority report Philip K. Dick
The Days of Perky pat Philip K. Dick
Pretty Maggy Money eyes Harlan Ellison
San Diego, Lightfoot sue Tom Reamy
Riders of the Purple wage Philip Jose Farmer
The Elves and the Otter skin Elizabeth H. Boyer
Merlins ring H. Warner Munn
The Land Iron clads H.G. Wells
With the Night, mail Rudyard Kipling
Before Adam jack London
The Right stuff Tom Wolfe
(Politics…)
(This is better than Feghoots.)
Outward bound Robert A. Heinlein
The Naked God Peter F. Hamilton (ewww…) lol
Screwtape Letters C.S. Lewis
A Lifetime Burning Linda Gillard
A Grief Observed CS Lewis
America Unchained Dave Gorman
Hell West and Crooked Tom Cole
Insect Dreams Marc Estrin
The Dearly Departed Elinor Lipman
Don’t Move Margaret Mazzantini
She Captains Joan Druett
Scratching for a Living Ruud Kleinpaste
Horseman, Pass By Larry McMurtry
Dr Neruda’s Cure for Evil Rafael Yglesias
America Observed Alistair Cooke
The Disappearing Duke Tom Freeman-Keels
(More tabloid headlines)
The Wyrdest link David Langford
The Apricot files David Langford
Construction Creativity book, case David Langford
The Sex, Column, and Other, misprints David Langford
The Unseen, University challenge Terry Pratchett’s Discworld Quiz, book David Langford
He do the Time Police Indifferent, voice David Langford
(It’s not easy being David Langford)
Guts, a Comedy of Mann, errs David Langford
Alien Emergence is James White and David Langford
(I cheated a little on the last two)
‘Dragon’s Egg” Robert Forward
Meet these magical writers:
The Magician’s Nephew, C. S. Lewis
The Wizard Gene Wolfe
The Lord of the rings J. R. R. Tolkien (but he was out)
The Dervish house Ian McDonald
Blackout Connie Willis
Among others Jo Walton (sentence fragment)
Death of the Author Scarlett Thomas
“Through Space and Time with Ferdinand Feg!” hoot Reginald, Bretnor
(…sorry…)
The Silent land Graham Joyce
The Sleeper wakes H G Wells
The Man with the X-Ray eyes Roger Corman
Solar is Andrei Tarkovsky
or indeed — Solar is Steven Soderberg.
… but maybe those are cheating.
Judas Unchained Peter F Hamilton
Frankenstein Unbound Brian Aldiss
Shadow of the Giant Orson Scott Card
The Other Wind Ursula K Le Guin
The Graveyard Book Neil Gaiman
Last Seen Wearing Colin Dexter
Shock Richard Matheson
Oliver Twist Charles Dickens
Into the Green Charles de Lint
I’ll Be Watching You Charles de Lint
Cryoburn Lois McMaster Bujold