Lawrence Person reviews John Dies at the End

(Howard was under the weather, so it’s just me solo this time out.)

John Dies at the End is a weird, silly, lightweight, low-budget science fiction comedy. If you’re in the mood for that, you’ll enjoy it as long as you dial your expectations knob down to modest.

In the frame story, white protagonist David Wong (which just happens to be the name of the author of the novel the

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Howard Waldrop and Lawrence Person review The Hobbit

Both: Split decision. Howard doesn’t like it, while Lawrence thinks it’s pretty good (but not great). Both agree it’s markedly inferior to The Lord of the Rings: The Movie Trilogy (henceforth known as LOTR:TMT).

Howard Waldrop: They’ve been trying to make The Hobbit as a movie since the ‘60s (at one time to star the Beatles, with Ringo as Sam Gamgee). I’m sorry that didn’t happen—it would

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Howard Waldrop and Lawrence Person review Prometheus

Both: We really wanted to like this film, but the screenwriters made every character except the protagonist an idiot.

Lawrence Person: This is a prequel to Alien. It starts off in prehistory, depicting a very human-looking alien watching a saucer leave, then swallowing some icky living black goo, then dissolving into the rushing waters, where it’s replaced with animations of mutating DNA strands, presumably seeding Earth with

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Howard Waldrop and Lawrence Person review The Avengers

Both: Our only disagreement is just how much we love this film: Howard thinks The Avengers is the best Marvel superhero film ever made, while Lawrence thinks it’s the best live-action superhero film ever made. (The Incredibles is still the reigning champion as best superhero film period.)

Howard Waldrop: When I saw Thor, I thought, “The Marvel franchise is in trouble, they think they can roll

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Howard Waldrop and Lawrence Person review John Carter

Both: Split decision: Howard, after some reflection, just doesn’t like it. Lawrence thinks it’s a good action/adventure film, but not a great one. Howard Waldrop: John Carter is Edgar Rice Burroughs for people who’ve seen Avatar and Lawrence of Arabia.

Lawrence Person: It strikes me as a good-faith effort to capture the feel of A Princess of Mars, updated just enough to make it (almost)

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Howard Waldrop & Lawrence Person review Hugo

Both: Finally, to make up for the Skylines and Thors, Locus sent us to a great movie.

Lawrence Person: While reviewing The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus, I jokingly suggested in passing that Terry Gilliam should make a serious crime drama and Martin Scorsese should make a Gilliamesque fantasy. Little did I suspect Scorsese would actually take me up on the offer…

Howard Waldrop: Hugo is

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Howard Waldrop & Lawrence Person review Cowboys & Aliens

Both: This is a film that isn’t any better than it has to be. You have first-rate acting and solid direction in service of a third-rate script written by no less than six people, one of whose job was evidently to excise every last bit of surprise or cleverness from the dialogue.

HW: When I first heard this was coming, I thought of Spurs Jackson and His Space

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Howard Walrop & Lawrence Person review Thor

Howard Waldrop: Thor is a big noisy mess.

Marvel’s luck with 3rd banana heroes and its hopes for The Avengers next year (all the 3rd banana heroes at once) comes to a screeching halt.

Lawrence Person: It would be tempting to do a one word review of “Eh.” Sadly, the word rate for that would not nearly come close to reimbursing Howard and me for our inflated 3D

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Howard Waldrop & Lawrence Person review Battle: Los Angeles

Both: We had one hope going into Battle: Los Angeles: That it would be better than Skyline. Thankfully, it met this very, very low criteria for success. Beyond that, the question of whether you’ll it like boils down to this: How much originality do you require in your science fiction films? If the answer is “none,” you might well enjoy it, because Battle: Los Angeles doesn’t have

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Lawrence Person’s Top Ten Science Fiction, Fantasy and Horror Films of 2000-2010

Locus has asked Howard and me to offer up our respective Top Movies lists for science fiction, fantasy and horror films of 2000-2010 (i.e., The Noughties).

But before I get into the meat of my list, I want to make clear what I am (and am not) covering. First off, I’m going to limit my recommended list to feature films that had an actual theatrical release, which rules out Direct-to-DVD

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Howard Waldrop & Lawrence Person review Skyline

Both: Wouldn’t it be swell if there was a first-rate alien invasion movie in theaters for you to watch?

Fortunately, there is. It’s called Monsters. You should go see it if it’s playing at a theater near you.

Unfortunately, we’re here to talk about Skyline, which isn’t. We have a slightly split opinion. Howard only thinks it sucks a little. Lawrence thinks it sucks a whole lot

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Howard Waldrop & Lawrence Person review Monsters

Both: At last, Locus has sent us to see a swell movie. Advanced word was that this was this year’s District 9. But Monsters kicks District 9‘s ass. The setup is just as intriguing, the characters are a lot more interesting, and the script is easily ten times smarter.

Lawrence Person: Monsters is an extended exercise in low-key realism that works astonishingly well. This is probably

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Howard Waldrop & Lawrence Person review Jonah Hex

Howard Waldrop: Well, it could have been a lot worse.

Lawrence Person: Have you ever worked in an office building late at night? And you’re there late enough that your stomach starts rumbling, but you don’t have time to go out for dinner, so you go down to the vending area and there, between the Coke and candy machines, is the “food” vending machine, with canned soup, cheese

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Howard Waldrop & Lawrence Person review Iron Man 2

Both: Howard thought this was better than the original Iron Man, while Lawrence merely thought it as good. Either way, if you liked the first one, you’ll like this one.

Lawrence Person: The good thing about Iron Man 2 is that it isn’t any dumber than the original, which was, let’s face it, pretty dumb if you stopped to think about it. But if you’re watching a

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