Multiple Michael Moorcocks to Receive Grand Master Award

by Paoli du Flippi

Attendees at the upcoming Nebula Awards Banquet in Austin are in for a special treat this year, according to a recent post on the SFWA site. Michael Moorcock, slated to be honored with Grandmaster status for a long career of excellence, has summoned upwards of a dozen avatars of himself from across the multiverse to be present during the ceremony.

Speaking from his fabled retreat, the Tower at the End of Time, just down the road from Merle's Feed and Grain outside Lubbock, the Biblically bearded father of the New Wave said, "Even though the SFWA is compounded mainly of hacks and grubstreeters unfit to wipe Mervyn Peake's pen nibs, I felt that this award marked a certain important climacteric in my career. It seemed only fitting that I travel the Shining Road across the Second Ether and gather together a few of my outstanding doppelgangers, without whom I would never have been able to write the prodigious amount of wordage I have produced since I first stumbled at age sixteen upon the secret of interplenary travel."

Moorcock's list of visiting avatars includes Maisie Moorcock, writer of paranormal romances; Mischka Mayorcark, Member of Parliament and thriller writer; "Mighty" Mike Marechuck, professional wrestler and political pundit; Mehrdad Moolbash, Persian poet of the Restored Caliphate; Miguel Brezal-Gallo, Bardic King of Greater Andalusia; and Merak Mellowmouth, epigone and scion of the Chaotic Princes.

All of these exotic personages and more are arriving daily at the Moorcock establishment, providing Moorcock's beautiful wife Linda with plenty of hostess duties.

"Suffering Sam Houston!" exclaimed the statuesque Texan belle. "I thought tending to one writer was as much work as shoeing a dozen mules. But thet was before I had to come up with vittles to meet the needs of thet there Moorcock critter carrying a big Bowie Knife what only eats souls."